the silent, quiet type...

I have come to realize something about myself...

I don't always say what I am thinking, and I tend to think and "stay inside my head" a lot. Yes, I am a rather bold person, with a lot to say and I often do, but when I actually sit and think about it (no pun intended) I really don't every say what I really want or what is going on in this head of mine. Words are not my forte and I don't think people often want to hear what I have to say, so I keep it to myself. I am a dreamer, a practical one, but a dreamer nonetheless. I have these plans and ideas of grandeur, but they stay locked away. Though all of this processing and festering of thought, I have come to know myself a little bit more. For instance, I know what kind of man I want to marry, and what kind of wife I want to be, but I know that I don't want to get married any time soon, because I am not ready nor and am I selfless enough to put myself in the position of a serious relationship. Do I tell anyone this? No. Why should I? There is so much more swirling around up there, but putting it down on paper takes more time than my ever evolving thoughts will allow. I think that is a reason why I started this blog, so I can learn to finally say what I really want. The heart and mind are two very different things. Getting them to align is a long process. Adding the mouth, and courage to say it is on a whole new level.

I'm baaaaaaack....

Hey world. Sorry I've been gone for so long. to be honest I forget I have one of these things, then it tends to disappear from my mind. But I am here now.

I honestly am in no mood to write at the moment, but I will soon return and continue this adventure.

p.s. I still weigh 191. I need to get on it man.

My eyes doth decieve me...

So I woke up this morning, after a grand night's sleep, and I weighed myself. I weighed 191.2!!! What??? "That is awesome!," I say to myself. The whole while I am thinking, "That can't be right." But I guess, with food I eat throughout the day and all my water weight, which I haven't had much of today, you can lose 3 pounds over night. So progress is being made! HUZZAH!

As for my quiet time, I haven't had mine today. Hmmmm....I need to get on that.

Right now I am watching Dexter with Trina, while Jarred and Sarah are doing their own things. It's nice just relaxing with friends. I love my friends. I do intend to spend more time with them this semester.

Subbing tomorrow. Luckily it's only an aide position, so it's not as much work.

Until later...

Monday, Monday, Monday...

Today was an average run-of-the-mill the day. I subbed today in my favorite kindergarten class. I was a little worried because they were getting a brand new student today, who also happens to be deaf. The deafness doesn't scare, heck that's what I do, I was just scared how the other children were going to approach. Would they ask questions I wouldn't know how to answer? Would they include him? It turns out, I had nothing to worry about. They were great to him, and they acted like he was the same as every one of them. He also happens to be incredibly smart. It was breezy.

As for the rest of my day. I woke up, weighed myself, and went to work.
I am at 193. I think it depends on the time of day I weigh myself. I weigh myself as soon as I get up in the morning and use the bathroom.

Nothing special happened really. Movie, and a few episodes of Dexter out to make for a good night. :)

Back to Square One

Well here's an update for ya:

I haven't posted in a while because my computer got an amazing virus that caused me to have to get my computer wiped clean, and that took a few days.

I am back to square one as far as weight loss goes. I was doing SO well, then bachlorette party happens, bada bing bada boom and I am right back to where I was. GRRRRRRR. I will make this happen. I am bound and determined.

I think that I am going to start spending 15 minutes a day in quiet time with the Lord. Whether it's reading the word, praying, or just being in thought out in His creation, I want, no NEED, to spend time with Him. How do you build a relationship without spending time together? Put simply, you can't.

Alright. Bring it on week 3, you Monday you.

Weight: 195 lbs

Everything has to start somewhere...

Here's what you need to know about me as of now:
-My plan is to be completely honest in this blog. No I will not be mean or talk about others, I just need to be honest, so I can be honest with myself. This is the year of "a slap in the face." It took my mom writing me a tactful, "I say it with love" letter, to make me realize that I HAVE to change something. I love her for that.
-I haven't exactly been very close to God these past few months. I haven't gone to church in, I don't know 4 months, and I haven't picked up The Good Book in about that long. I am feeling it too. When you have been away from your best friend for a while, you start to feel the effects. These next few months are gonna be a hard struggle and just going to your best friend when you need and that's it, just doesn't cut it. The beautiful thing about our amazing God, is that HE never fails. Even when we aren't there for Him, He is there for us. AMEN!
- There are no men in my life. I don't have a boyfriend, and I am okay with that. I can't say that when an attractive walks by that I don't look and hope he notices me, but I am okay with being single. All my friends are taken, married, or engaged, but lets not get into that. (No, I'm not bitter. ) God has that man out there. In His perfect timing, he will find me. Oh and you know it's bad when your family has STOPPED asking me about boys. Wow.
-Call me Jones, Bridget Jones. (Well, sort of.)


So, technically I started my little adventure about a week before the new year. I had the motivation at that time, and if I waited I new that I wouldn't have to the discipline to start anything, or I would talk myself out of it. That being said, I was doing quite well until New Year's Eve. I didn't really eat anything that was bad for me, but I didn't exactly drink anything that was good for me either (if you catch my drift). Other than that, I am doing quite well. I am sort of hungry ALL THE TIME, but God has been very good and I have been able to take my mind off of it rather quickly. I have to avoid the food aisles in stores, and North Street here in Nac because of all the fast food joints. I might the reaction, "Rebecca, why are you doing this? Why are you dieting and starving yourself?" Well first of all I am not starving myself. I am eating well thank you very much, and I am doing this because if I don't change something soon, I will end up a large, diabetic with very low self esteem. I have always had pretty good self esteem, but with every pound I gain, it slips further and further away from me. CHANGE CAN BE GREAT!!! Here it goes.

Things I am not eating or drinking:
sweets, caffeine, carbonated everything, fast food

I am limiting my diet to 1,500 or less calories a day. (Oh don't give me that.) You can eat very healthy on a smaller diet. I would love to lose a pound a week. My mom is doing the same thing, so we are going to help each other. Our diets are different of course, but the results are the same nonetheless. If I lose a pound a week for an entire year, then I will have lost 52 whole pounds! I will be healthier, skinnier, and happier.

As of today I weigh 194 lbs. I have lost 2 pounds so far. HERE WE GO!