"Look at my wrist...I've gotta go..."

WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?!?!

Seriously. My summer vacation has almost come to an end. Have I done anything productive with my time? Nope. Have I done anything to get ready for the upcoming school year? Nope. Will I do any of this in the perceivable future? Maaaaaaybe.

I can't believe this summer is almost gone. I feel lame because I have done nothing with my time. (Nothing I said I would do anyway.)

I wanted to get up and write, exercise, do a quiet time (EVERYDAY), but yet I sleep and do other lazy things. I also said I would read more. I love to read but I just can't seem to pick up a book. During the school year, I always read, but when I actually have time, never. Now I am kicking myself for it.

Come on, Rebecca! Get it together!

Now it is time to pull my **** together and just work. Just do it all so I am not scrambling the week before school starts. I have three weeks of house-sitting to do, so I feel like that would be a good time to do it. What-ya think?

Sorry for the random rant. But I had to yell at something besides myself.

Lord,

Thank you for giving me the motivation to cook and jog. You know I struggle with discipline with these type of things, but the motiviation and drive to continue has only come from You. Thank you so much. Thank you for the joy I am receiving from it as well. I struggle in the process, but my heart is full of joy afterward. THANK YOU!Please, keep my heart set in the right place. Strength and endurance come from You, whether it be physical or spiritual. I pray that I continue to keep up the pace and drive. Thank you for loving me each and every day, even though I don't deserve it. Amen.

It has begun!

Just so you know, I have decided, starting today, that I will jog every day after I get back from work. As soon as I get home, I will immediately change into appropriately clothing for the task at hand, and get my big butt into shape. I may not be good at it, and it will take some time for me to get into it, but I am SO done with they way I look and feel. My knees and ankles always hurt when I run, but I know it's because of all the extra poundage I got going on. I will start out with short lengths, and go for longer amounts of time every few days. My problem is that as soon as I "feel the burn" I quit and give up. I started thinking about this, and I realized that I am not a quitter. When I danced, I was capable of full-out dancing for 10 minutes straight, giving it my all, and still ready for more. No matter how much I wanted to stop I didn't. I kept pushing. I want to be that way again. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, and looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. Well, it's about time I do somethig about that, right?
I also want to start cooking more. I cooked a lot this weekend. I turned on some music, whipped out my handy dandy recipe book, and got busy. Funny thing is is that I actually enjoyed it a little. (Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone.)

Alright. Well here is to a new beginning. I hope I don't die, or get run over.

Lord,
I ask for the strength to see this through. I want to live a healthier, longer life. I want to be able to do the things you have called me to do. Give me joy in this. Give the drive and spirit to keep going, no matter how much I don't want to. You are bigger than all of this, and I know that you can give me passion for things all around me. Place people in my life to hold me accountable. I love you so much. Thank you for letting me wake up every day and for your unending, and bountiful grace, that I have never and will never deserve. Amen.